Posted on 5/14/123 by Colin Vassallo
AEW Rampage tonight comes to us from Little Caesar’s Arena
in Detroit, MI. After last week drawing 294,000 & 0.09 in
the 18-49 demo.
The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn vs Butcher, Blade & Kip Sabian
‘Yo Butch, you a bitch my man, got the worst moustache since
Vince McMahon’ was the highlight of the pre-match rap.
Before Kip & Bowens set it off, the latter dropping the
former via shoulder block, thrust kick and over-the-shoulder
Caster & Blade in – bodyslam, Scissor Me Timbers – leading
to Caster being dumped outside by Butcher before the heels
mock-scissored and Kip launched a moonsault to the outside,
very nearly knee-ing Bowens in the head.
A loud ‘We want daddy’ chant as the heels worked over Bowens
on the wrong side of the ring, the crowd into this opener.
A Kip cannonball continued the assault. A Butcher
backbreaker bagged two, Bowens still cut-off from his
compadres. Until striking via thrust kick, making the
crawl, Gunn in, all three heels hit with right hands until a
powerslam to Butcher allowed Kip & Blade to strike from
Caster in illegally to dropkick and pancake Kip, leaving him
prone for a Fameasser, Blade making the save at two. Bowens
in – Arrival, Mic Drop, victory.
Nothing match; hot crowd – pretty good analogy for the
Acclaimed who remain far more popular than their storylines
and involvement should suggest.
Btw, this is the same Butcher we were supposed to believe
could win the Int’nl Title a few weeks back.
Winner: The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn
Seems AEW haven’t yet given up on QTV. Ostensibly as a
vehicle to air the frustrations of higher-ups. Since this
week hyped the 60,000+ tickets sold for Wembley as Solo
whispered to Harley that it only seats 8,000 (Tony Khan last
week got into it with a – admittedly dubious – journalist
about seating plans).
‘Btw has anyone heard from the champ?’ asked QT in an
example of fiction emulating reality. Cut to what looked
like a low-budget porn film as a barely clothed Cameron
‘interviewed’ a bare-chested Hobbs on a couch. His story
isn’t over, ‘all that matters is who’s holding the pen’.
Insider references and the real star getting a single
sentence. Seems a great use of tv time. Poor Hobbs.
Toni Storm vs Allysin Kay
They replayed Shida getting one over on the Outcasts and
hyped Dynamite’s trios match as Storm made her entrance.
Kay had a flurry early, stomping Toni down in the corner
until Saraya grabbed the boot; Ruby threw a cheap shot too
as Saraya shouted ‘that’s what we do baby’. It sure is.
The exact same thing. Every. Single. Week.
Both then stomped away outside after Toni hip-attacked Kay
off the apron.
Kay stun-gunned Storm across the ropes, hit a neckbreaker
and lariat for two. Storm came back with a tornado ddt, Kay
countered Storm Zero as Ruby and Saraya simultaneously hit
the apron to prevent the cover.
Storm hit a German, hip attack, Storm Zero. Spraypaint.
I’d be very happy to never see the Outcasts ever again.
Winner: Toni Storm
Backstage, the Gunns complained about not getting a rematch,
promising to win back their tag titles. Ethan Page
interrupted to ask for help. The three headed off together.
Kyle Fletcher vs Action Andretti
An Aussie-riddled Rampage continued as Kyle Fletcher made
his entrance. Action Andretti now rolls with Darius Martin
for some reason. Related, have AEW actually acknowledged
what happened to Dante on tv?
‘He’s gotta become known for more than ‘I beat Chris
Jericho’’ was JR’s verdict on Andretti. Sums it up
Both worked in and out of an armbar, Action using his
athleticism to slip out then launch a top rope armdrag and
hurracanrana off Fletcher’s shoulders. A tornijo bagged
two. Before Fletcher blasted him off the apron via leg
Andretti landed on his feet out of a half-&-half, hit a
bodyslam and clotheslined Fletcher outside, following via
tope suicida, sending him straight back inside, missing via
split leg and eating a thrust kick. A sheer-drop bagged two
for Fletcher. Crowd quiet.
Andretti hit a superplex after leaping to the top, a
springboard 450 bagging another two. Forearm to the back,
roundhouse; another Fletcher leg lariat cut him off before a
Fidget Spinner bagged the win. Fletcher mocking Cassidy
with a weak thumbs up afterward.
Action Andretti beat Chris Jericho his first night in and
has done ‘jack diddly squat’ since, to quote Juice Robinson.
And here lost to a tag guy from another company. Let’s hope
Fletcher’s attack on Cassidy Weds is building to something
at or on the way to Forbidden Door.
Otherwise, AEW yet again gave wins and tv time to a guy from
another company at the expense of their own talent.
Winner: Kyle Fletcher
Recap of Wednesday’s main event and show-closing angle.
The Hardys and Isiah Kassidy were interrupted by the Gunns.
They and Ethan want a fight. Kassidy interrupted with a sex
noise, this gimmick breaking all sorts of records by
becoming tiresome in week two.
Matt said he’d been trying to get away from Ethan for eight
months but agreed to the match if they agreed to put control
over Ethan’s contract on the line. The Gunns did so. Then
vowed that the Hardys would never get their hands on the tag
titles while they were around. Before Austin mocked
Kassidy’s sex noise as they left. Enjoyed that.
Matt said they’d ‘delete the Ass Boys’. Same old…
Notable that when they promo’d tickets for Double or
Nothing, there was just a single match they could advertise.
Swerve Strickland & Brian Cage vs John Silver & Alex
Slick, smooth chain-wrestling from Swerve & Reynolds got us
going until Strickland avoided a rush in the corner, hit a
tejeiras from a sitting position and flew upstairs thinking
Stomp as Reynolds slipped out of reach.
Damn Swerve’s smooth. Incredibly agile.
Cage in, pointing to Silver as Reynolds obliged. A posedown
ensued, the crowd firmly in favor of Silver – Cage didn’t
like this much, aiming a cheapshot to the gut and whipping
him in only for Silver to rebound via headscissor takedown.
The Machine returned the favor, the two tough to separate as
each caught the other out of a cross body, Silver slamming
Cage down and continuing to pose. Momentum with him until
Swerve bridged him outside then hit a pump kick from the
apron as the break beckoned.
Silver in trouble as we returned, countering a Cage suplex
into one of his own before both muscle-men made tags, the
pace quickening as Swerve and Reynolds flew around the ring,
a pair of running elbows and a neckbreaker taking Swerve
out, a basement dropkick through the ropes doing the same to
Cage, a pop-up knee-strike, tiger driver and pull-up
piledriver resulting in only two as Swerve kicked out.
To the top, superplex ready, Prince Nana hit the apron,
distracting Reynolds, Swerve missed a Stomp as Silver &
Reynolds ran through their excellent double-team flurry
ending in a German/jackknife-pin combo for two. Cage
afterward hauling Reynolds nads-first into the ringpost,
Silver diving at him but being caught and held in place for
Swerve to hit his running kick to the back of the head, tag
to Cage, Reynolds bagged a cradle for a close two but was
hit with a pop-up powerbomb then a double-team fireman’s
carry slam/neckbreaker combo.
Which seemed like the finish only for him to kick out at
2.9. Drillclaw ready, Silver broke it up via enziguri, Nana
grabbed Silver’s boot in full view of the ref, the heels hit
the Drillclaw and JML Driver to Reynolds and Silver
respectively as Cage pinned the former.
Afterward, Keith Lee & Dustin Rhodes saved the faces from a
further beating after the Gates of Agony hit the ring.
Not as good as it could’ve been despite some fun exchanges.
Crowd not really into it.
Swerve deserves much better.
Winner: Swerve Strickland & Brian Cage
Sammy Guevara ‘in action’, but will have to leave the
building afterward ahead of:
Chris Jericho vs Roderick Strong, Falls Count Anywhere, JAS
& Cole banned from the building
Jamie Hayter, Britt Baker & Hikaru Shida vs the Outcasts
Ricky Starks vs Jay White
Jack Perry vs Rush
Don Callis promo