Posted on 3/31/126 by Bob Magee
Show Recap —
CM Punk, Oba Femi, Nia Jax and Lash Legend arrived at
Madison Square Garden.
Cody Rhodes kicks off Monday Night Raw in MSG
Rhodes entered and was almost universally cheered. He said
MSG was the home of the WWE Championship and the WWE
Champion would always be present at the world’s most famous
arena. He asked what they wanted to talk about.
Stephanie McMahon interrupted. Rhodes was surprised to see
her. She wasn’t sure why, because her last name was
“McMahon,” and this was the place her grandfather built. He
asked her what she wanted to talk about.
Stephanie said she wanted to talk about him, Randy Orton and
WrestleMania—but Rhodes wouldn’t like what she had to say.
She said the three of them were multigenerational talents
and knew what it was like to be at the top.
They all took different paths to get to where they were.
Rhodes took the golden path, and that was wonderful. He was
true to himself, and he believed he could bring out the best
in his opponents. But he couldn’t do that this time against
this version of Orton.
This Orton was diabolical. Rhodes didn’t have to be
diabolical, but he had to be able to think like Orton. Dusty
Rhodes knew that. Dusty could get down and dirty, but Cody
was not his father. This Cody could not beat this Orton.
Rhodes said the last thing he wanted to do was be rude to
Stephanie. He knew all about Orton. He knew Orton punted
people’s heads off—his father included. Orton did stuff so
vile they couldn’t show it today, including things he did to
Stephanie.
Fans wanted the student-teacher dynamic from them, but he
ceased to be the student a long time ago. He wasn’t the
student when he was Orton’s babysitter, making sure Orton
was still breathing in the car they rode together.
Rhodes was not the student, and he was not afraid. Rhodes
said he was not his father and added, “You wanna bring up
fathers? I’m not mine, you’re right. Stephanie McMahon, with
all due respect, you’re not yours either.”
The crowd popped, and Stephanie smacked him in the face.
Stephanie said she was out there because she cared about
him. She was there because no one else was giving him
guidance. Rhodes didn’t understand what Orton was capable
of. Orton wasn’t just listening to the voices in his head—he
beckoned them. And it appeared he was listening to someone
else as well. Unless Rhodes learned to think like Orton, he
would lose the title.
Stephanie was about to leave, but Rhodes grabbed her by the
arm and turned her around. Rhodes said he had two words for
her: “Thank you.” He left.
********
IShowSpeed and Adam Pearce were interrupted by Danhausen.
Speed told Danhausen he’s had a terrible week and wanted to
be uncursed, but Danhausen had a list of crazy demands to
make that happen. Pearce tried to cheer up Speed by telling
him he had front row seats for the men’s tag team title
match. LA Knight, guest announcer for the match, appeared
and left with Speed.
Street Fight for the World Tag Team Championships: Jimmy &
Jey Uso (c) vs. Logan Paul & Austin Theory
They can go 17 minutes uninterrupted for a talking segment,
but this supposedly important tag team title match couldn’t
go 50 seconds without going to commercial break.
The Usos hit a dive ahead of a break, but it didn’t matter
because the Vision took control with weapons immediately
after. The Usos came back with ugly-looking superkicks and
weapon shots. They placed a trash can over Paul and
obliterated it with kendo stick shots. They also gave Theory
a double superplex off the middle rope through a table.
Paul approached his mother in the front row, and she handed
him brass knuckles while IShowSpeed tried reasoning with
him. Knight left the announce table and went after Paul.
Paul grabbed onto Speed for leverage to save himself, but he
pulled Speed over the barricade in the process.
Knight chucked Paul into the ring post as Speed put the knux
on. Speed felt something behind him, turned around and
knocked down Knight with the knux before realizing who it
was. Speed was filled with regret.
Paul tried to use the knux on Jimmy, but he ducked, and the
Usos handed out superkicks to both Vision members. Jey
speared Theory and went to the top as Jimmy went for a dive,
but Paul decked Jimmy with the knux. Jey went after Paul,
but Theory rolled over onto the unconscious Jimmy for the
pinfall win. That’s how they changed the tag titles.
— Paul and Theory celebrated with IShowSpeed as fireworks
went off, although Speed wasn’t sure how to react.
Match result: Austin Theory & Logan Paul defeated Jimmy &
Jey Uso to win the World Tag Team Championships (8:48)
This was not a particularly entertaining street fight. The
stip was an excuse to do all the outside nonsense, and the
finish sucked.
********
Jeff Ross and Lin-Manuel Miranda were in the crowd.
Liv Morgan and Stephanie Vaquer segment
Morgan entered. She told Stephanie Vaquer, “You’re done for,
bitch.” She said it was one thing to attack her, but it was
another thing to attack her family, Daddy Dom. She wasn’t
surprised because Vaquer didn’t have any family there.
Vaquer claimed Morgan hid behind her family, but Vaquer
sneak-attacked her anytime she got.
Morgan wondered if Vaquer was scared to confront her face-
to-face. Morgan’s mother taught her not to let anyone get
the better of her, but as for Vaquer’s mother: “tu madre es
basure, puta.”
Vaquer stormed out (to her music) and dropped Morgan with a
thrust kick. Vaquer grabbed a steel chair, but it was a
trap, because the returning Roxanne Perez decked her from
behind. The two heels hammered away on Vaquer until Morgan
laid her out with Oblivion.
********
Theory and Paul celebrated with the tag titles backstage.
IShowSpeed wanted to make it clear that he didn’t want to
get involved earlier. Paul wasn’t hearing it. He laughed and
said Speed had enemies now. Speed tried pleading with them
until Paul Heyman interjected.
Heyman said Speed was in good hands. He told the Vision to
take Speed with them to dinner so they could celebrate.
After they left, Heyman bluntly said, “The Usos are going to
kill him.” The crowd laughed.
Pearce approached Heyman and asked if he had checked his
email. Heyman brushed this off as nonsense and left. (This
was weird. Heyman was oddly dismissive of the idea that he
would correspond via email. I’m also not sure why Pearce
didn’t just explain it to him here.)
********
Michael Cole said this was the first time since 1987 that
women’s tag team titles were defended in MSG. That match was
between The Glamour Girls and The Jumping Bomb Angels.
Women’s Tag Team Championship match: Nia Jax & Lash Legend
(c) vs. Bayley & Lyra Valkyria
They got a full three minutes before the babyfaces wiped out
the heels with dives ahead of a break. Like the previous
match, it didn’t matter because the heels took control as
soon as they were in commercials.
Back from break, Valkyria planted Legend with a DDT and made
the hot tag to Bayley, who landed a diving elbow drop for
two. Legend cut her off with a big boot, and Jax followed
with a leg drop for two. Jax set up for the Annihilator, but
Bayley got underneath, walked with Jax toward the middle of
the ring and hit a powerbomb. The crowd cheered the
impressive spot.
They all traded moves when Nikki and Brie Bella marched to
ringside. They were quickly joined by Charlotte Flair and
Alexa Bliss. Valkyria left the ring to talk to them for some
reason, so Jax attacked her from behind.
Some other stuff happened before Flair entered the ring and
chop-blocked Jax for the DQ. Fans groaned.
Jax and Legend were attacked by everyone else and knocked
out of the ring as the energy evaporated from the crowd.
Match result: Nia Jax & Lash Legend defeated Bayley & Lyra
Valkyria via disqualification (10:44)
Another subpar match with an even worse finish.
********
Danhausen announced during a break that Saturday Night’s
Main Event would return to MSG on July 18th. He did some
goofy comedy before scampering backstage.
Brock Lesnar and Oba Femi segment
Brock Lesnar, wearing his gear, entered with Heyman. Heyman
repeated what he said about what happened two weeks ago,
that Lesnar was distracted and caught off guard by Oba Femi.
Last week, Lesnar was not there for a fight—he simply wanted
a conversation with Femi. This week, however, Lesnar was
dressed to fight.
Heyman has seen this before in WWE and UFC. When a man locks
eyes with Lesnar, they piss themselves and leave a puddle of
piss in the ring. They might as well wipe up Femi along with
the puddle of piss.
Lesnar was tired of hearing about piss (interesting) and
grabbed the mic from Heyman. He angrily called out Femi.
Pearce entered with security guards because he wanted to
preserve one of his WrestleMania main events. (I don’t think
this is actually the main event of either night, that’s just
how big they see the match.)
Oba Femi entered anyway. Security ran after Femi, but he
easily chucked them all aside—killing one guy in particular
by launching him way up in the air and dropping him on the
floor. Pearce got in Femi’s face, but Femi shoved him aside
into the barricade.
The crowd chanted for Femi as he sauntered around the ring.
Femi entered the ring and faced off with Lesnar as the crowd
chanted, “Holy shit.” Triple H slipped in the ring to get
between them, and people booed.
The crowd chanted for a fight, but Lesnar smirked and backed
out of the ring. Triple H told them it would happen at
WrestleMania. Before he left, Lesnar grabbed a security
guard and gave him an F5 onto the floor.
(This was well done. They can probably hold off on any
further interaction because the crowd is begging for them to
go at it now.)
********
Finn Bálor pre-taped promo
Bálor said Judgment Day were a family, and they ran Raw for
four years. Bálor did things he wasn’t proud of during that
time. Perhaps the worst decision he made was thinking he
could make a man out of Dominik Mysterio.
Bálor gave credit to Dom for running his playbook against
him. But Dom should remember that when he turned on his
father and felt lost, it was Bálor he turned to. Bálor
stepped in and stepped up for him.
Dom didn’t lose the Intercontinental Championship because of
him—he lost because he was a self-entitled jackass. Bálor
was guilty of creating that jackass. He was responsible for
creating Dom, so he would be responsible for destroying him
at Mania.
********
Cole gave Carmelo Hayes a shout-out for his United States
title reign and his run of open challenges, which came to an
end against Sami Zayn on Friday.
Intercontinental Championship match: Penta vs. Kofi Kingston
(w/ Grayson Waller)
Kingston took control after giving Penta a back body drop
onto the apron. Waller was about to go after Penta, but
Kingston stopped him because he wanted to do this on his
own. Following a boring heat segment during a break, Penta
mounted a brief comeback until Kingston cut him off with an
SOS for two, followed by a Fameasser for two.
With Penta outside the ring, Waller was about to chuck him
over the announce table, but thought better of it and placed
him on the apron. Kingston called Waller a dummy and told
him to leave it alone. Kingston tried a leaping backward
dive, but Penta caught him and suplexed him onto the
announce table. Waller told Kingston that maybe he did need
him. Penta flew in at that moment and laid out Waller with a
Canadian Destroyer.
Back in the ring, Penta came off the top, but Kingston met
him mid-air with a Trouble in Paradise for a nearfall.
Kingston set up for a superplex, but Penta dropped him and
spiked him with a Canadian Destroyer for the pinfall win.
— Jackie Redmond interviewed Penta and asked him about his
plans for WrestleMania. Penta said he spoke to Pearce, and
the IC title would be defended in a ladder match. He issued
a warning to anyone in the match and warned them that it
wasn’t just the title hanging about the ring, it was his
kingdom.
Match result: Penta defeated Kofi Kingston to retain the
Intercontinental Championship (9:57)
This was ok. I feel like Kingston only got this IC title
match because of that one big spot he did in MSG with Randy
Orton many, many years ago.
********
Pearce approached Heyman backstage and asked where Lesnar
was. Heyman assured him that Lesnar had left the arena.
Pearce again asked if Heyman checked his emails. Heyman was
again dismissive of this. Heyman instead wanted Pearce to
hear what he had to say in the ring.
*******
Dom entered during a break and cut a basic promo saying he
would beat Bálor at Mania.
Paul Heyman segment, WrestleMania angle
Heyman entered. He gave Howard Finkel a mention before
announcing that the Vision were the new world tag team
champions. He said he tried to give the fans Lesnar vs. Femi
tonight, but that wannabe mid-level suck-up middle-
management pseudo-general manager Pearce got in the way.
Pearce interrupted. He asked again if Heyman checked his
emails. Heyman said there was nothing Pearce could tell him
that he didn’t already know. Pearce informed him that the
Boston police department dropped all charges against Seth
Rollins.
Heyman claimed he knew that already. Heyman continued by
putting himself over as the last remaining manager from the
1980s and the last promoter standing from the 1990s. Some
fans chanted for ECW.
Pearce said if Heyman checked his email, he’d also know that
Seth Rollins was medically cleared to compete. Heyman was
shocked as Rollins’ music hit.
The babyface Rollins attacked Heyman from behind with a
steel chair. Rollins set up for a curb stomp but was
suddenly yanked out of the ring by Gunther.
Gunther put Rollins in a sleeper hold and put him to sleep.
He grabbed Rollins by the head, pointed at the sign, and
told him WrestleMania was in their future.
********
IYO SKY vs. Raquel Rodriguez
For the third time tonight, the babyface hit a dive ahead of
a break, only for the heel to take control immediately
during commercials. In this case, Sky hit an Asai moonsault.
Penta was somehow the only babyface to not follow suit.
Sky made her comeback when they returned, but Rodriguez got
her feet up on a moonsault attempt. Sky responded with a
hurricanrana and double foot stomp for two.
Asuka and Kairi Sane ran out as Asuka urged Sane to get
involved. Sane leaped on the apron, and Sky confronted her.
Rodriguez tried to take advantage with a big boot, but Sky
moved out of the way, and Rodriguez booted Sane off the
apron.
Sky hit Rodriguez with a running meteora before turning her
attention to the outside as Asuka was yelling at Sane.
A frustrated Sky decided to wipe out Asuka with a suicide
dive, but she slipped as she went through the ropes and
landed right on her head. Sky popped up, fortunately, and
seemed ok.
Sky said something to Sane before making her way back into
the ring, but Rodriguez simply grabbed her and hit a Tejana
Bomb for the pinfall win.
Match result: Raquel Rodriguez defeated IYO SKY (10:26)
Yet another match that felt secondary to all the other stuff
happening around it. Not good.
********
Cole spoke about Penta’s IC title ladder match at
WrestleMania. He claimed Pearce already set the field
because qualifying matches had been happening on WWE Main
Event, which airs on YouTube. Joining Penta in the ladder
match will be Dragon Lee, Je’Von Evans, Rusev, and JD
McDonagh.
(This is absurd. Rusev, for example, last wrestled on Main
Event nearly two months ago, while McDonagh last wrestled on
the show in January.)
They ran down a few other matches before showing John Cena’s
announcement on social media that he would be hosting
WrestleMania. (I believe this was the only time this was
mentioned on the show.)
Backstage, Redmond asked Pearce for an update on Rollins.
Pearce said Rollins would be looking for a receipt at Mania
and made the match official for the show: Rollins vs.
Gunther.
********
CM Punk and Roman Reigns main event segment
Reigns entered first and asked New York to acknowledge him.
After they did, Punk marched out to his music, and he
immediately attacked Reigns. They brawled back and forth as
officials tried breaking things up. Reigns tossed one guy
aside before spearing Petey Williams.
Reigns was about to powerbomb Punk through the announce
table, but Punk slipped out and gave him a GTS. Punk acted
like he was done, but he grabbed Reigns and powerbombed him
through the table. Punk screamed, “Who’s f—cking old now?!”
Punk sat down next to Reigns and punched him in the head a
few more times before being pulled off by Pearce. Punk posed
atop the barricade as officials checked on Reigns, and the
show ended.