AS I SEE IT 5/5: Fun with WWE and alcohol?

Bob Magee
Pro Wrestling: Between the Sheets

This week's theme seems to be "WWE and fun with alcohol". It also comes in a week where WWE tightened up its drug-testing regime requiring both male and female performers to drop their pants to their knees and lift their shirts above their nipples, while delivering urine to be tested in front of staff of the company that does WWE's drug testing. The reason for this is rumored to be a WWE developmental performer being caught cheating on a drug test with one of those devices designed to beat drug tests (such as a "Whizzinator").

Prepare for the use and abuse of alcohol as the drug of choice to become even WORSE within WWE and stories like the second one to become even more frequent.

So...for story number one: if I've read the Wrestling Observer this week right....let me see if I have this story straight:

Michael Hayes makes an ass of himself getting drunk and drops the "n bomb" at Mark Henry at a post-Wrestlemania party (and from Meltzer's report, its far ! from the first time Hayes made a fool of himself after getting drunk) at Mark Henry; saying "I'm more of a n____ than you are" in an apparent attempt to push Henry to "loosen up" to improve his on-air character.

Mark Henry didn't take it as a joke, and reported it to WWE management. WWE management decides to suspend Hayes for what he said. Now Dave Meltzer reports that its MARK HENRY who has heat with "many" in the locker room, not Hayes?

Why? It seems the WWE locker room has what's become an all-too-prevalent culture within some urban neighborhoods...a "no snitching" policy. Yup, I'd sure rather take the side of Michael Hayes when he goes off drunk spouting racial invective instead of one of the workers.

Mind you, no one at all argues the truth of what Mark Henry said, by the way. It was said at a semi-public party. But the backstage preference among "many" is apparently that he was just supposed to sit and take it. To those who have this misguided t! hinking: just remember that your paychecks depend on the reputation of a publicly held company whose reputation could have taken a serious hit had the wrong person found out about the alcohol-fueled tirade.

Anyone figure out yet why Bobby Lashley left yet? Oh right, same reason, different time. Vince McMahon had to allow him his release, signed contract or not, so Lashley would keep quiet about what Hayes said that time, although rumors did make it out anyway.

I wonder what Senator Barack Obama would think had he been made aware of that mind-set before his taped piece on a recent Monday Night RAW. WWE ought to thank God on their knees that never happened. it would have been really interesting if he had pulled out of the appearance had this story hit the mainstream press.

If that wasn't enough news WWE didn't need, WWE comic favorite Santino Marella was arrested at 3:00 am on May 1 in Tampa, Florida on suspicion of DUI. Police saw his car "drifting back and forth" and observed him as having "bloodshot, watery and glassy eye! s." This apparently occurred after a night out with Kevin Thorne, Vladimir Kozlov, Katie Lea and other Florida developmental wrestlers for WWE.

Police reported that Santino Marella (real name: Anthony Carelli) failed two field sobriety tests, being unable to hold his balance. He was reported to have told police he'd only had three Miller Lights and one Kamikaze. When tested, his blood alcohol DID fall under the .08 legal limit at .061 and .062. Under local law he could still be prosecuted, however.

It's kind of hard to imagine, given Marella's size, that 3 beers and a Kamikaze were all he had in his body that night, if he was truly that impaired.

I have to wonder what effect this arrest that will have on his TV push. Even if WWE legal has its usual strong hand involved in getting him off, it can't help him in the eyes of WWE management

If WWE's tightening up on enforcement of drug use (including marijuana), expect more Anthony Carella stories...! at least if they get caught post-show and post-show partying by Police . Because wrestlers are going to use something to deal with the physical and emotional stress of the road. The question seems to be what they'll use and what effect it will have on them.

Until next time...

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