AS I SEE IT 3/31: WrestleMania 23 predictions
AS I SEE IT
Yes, believe it or not (well at least some readers may not believe it) I'm doing a Wrestlemania predictions column. As a side note, it's kind of a shame that Wrestlemania is on April Fool's Day this year, as in my mind at least it removes opportunities for a little goodnatured fun.
Pro Wrestling: Between the Sheets
But you can count on some website putting up a story saying Lashley broke his leg, or some other such nonsense to get a few extra hits, or chuckles, or both. It just won't be mine this year.
On to predictions...
"World" Heavyweight Championship
Batista vs. Undertaker
In theory, this is the "passing the torch" match...Undertaker to Batista, that is. I'd give Undertaker one last main event win...but I suspect Batista's going to get the win instead.
Batista's reputation seems to be going down the toilet after his little backstage adventure with Booker T some time back. He's also never come back quite as the same monster character after his latest injury...that, and the WWE Wellness Policy's enactment.
John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels
This is the match I've been looking forward the most to out of all of them. Cena-HBK got pretty close to a HHH-Batista Wrestlemania 21 level quality of buildup. The buildup that HHH-Batista that got two years ago was the best buildup I've ever seen for a Wrestlemania main event.
Michaels does pass the torch to Cena and Cena keeps his belt.
Battle of the Billionaires/Loser gets head shaved
Bobby Lashley (with Donald Trump) vs. Umaga (with Vince McMahon)
This is the match that got exactly the press attention that it was intended to get...and then some. This match has been covered on as many new sources as I've seen a non-real life news story (for example, stories like Eddie Guerrero's death or the recent steroid charges against WWE and TNA talent don't count as they're both real-life news) covered by the mainstream press in recent memory.
It seems obvious that McMahon loses in this one. The reason I mentioned the fact that its April Fool's Day earlier on was this: I just hope McMahon doesn't try to pull an "April Fool" on people who are paying $50.00 to see this PPV and weasel out of the head shaving (in real life, not storyline).
Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Edge vs. CM Punk vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Randy Orton
This is the match with the most possibilities, as the Money In The Bank match can do wonders to push a new talent to the top echelon. That's one reason it should be CM Punk...but it won't.
My guess is Mr. Kennedy gets the win, instead.
ECW Originals vs. New Breed
Sandman/Sabu/RVD/Tommy Dreamer vs. Elijah Burke, Matt Striker, Marcus Cor Von and Kevin Thorn
Prepare for the burial of the Velocity star...er, "ECW originals". From there we can expect "Wrestler released" stories in the next few weeks.
Team Velocity...er, the "New Breed" wins.
WWE Women's Champion
Melina vs. Ashley
Who's got the Playboy centerfold here? Which one's in the doghouse with WWE management? It's not heard to figure out this one. Ashley wins.
Kane vs. The Great Khali
A definite major league Wrestlecrap moment. This is the time to go order those Buffalo wings or pizza, get another beer, or hit the head.
Who wins? Not the fans.
WWE United States Championship
Chris Benoit vs. MVP
God, I hope Chris Benoit can carry "MVP" to a match above snore level. I swear if Benoit has to give up the belt to a cartoon character like this, I may vomit. Buckets, however, are at the ready, as this sounds like Vince is giving MVP a push to a belt.
Until next time...
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